The Hidden Opportunity in Quiet Quitting

The rise of the term quiet quitting in 2022 was a benchmark shift in employer and employee dynamics that saw the workforce pushing back against long-used management practices designed to maximize the return on investment of human resources.

Executives decried the phenomenon as the result of an entitled mindset in the newly minted members of the workforce. HR specialists came up with various reasons for the dynamic including such raging blather as quiet quitting as a non-confrontational tactic to exit a company.

The problem is that quiet quitting is routinely neither quiet or quitting. A manager approaches an employee and says, “I’m going to need you to…” and fill in the blank with whatever “above and beyond” request that the employer has deemed essential to success. The employee, out loud, not quietly, says, “No, I’m not going to do that. You don’t pay me to do that.” What the employer is left with is an employee, who has not quit the job, vocalizing a particular issue.

This is the issue. Employers have been lazy for years. Particularly in the drafting of the key documents they use to run their business. Are you an employer? Don’t get your feelings hurt. That after all would make you no better than your employees that you perceive as sniveling, ungrateful, and immature.

The quiet quitting employee is specifically saying this, “You’ve used a vague and ambiguous job description to attract me to this position and on the basis of that ambiguous job description I’ve bartered with you for the best pay possible which by the way still isn’t even what I wanted it to be. That being the case, I’m not going to let you take advantage of your lazy drafting and exert moral pressure on me to do something extra for a job I’m already not compensated enough for when you have not legal standing to require me to do it as long as I realize I have power in this situation too.”

We’ve been in business long enough that we can craft clear, measurable job description done to the attitudes we want reflected in our company and the daily routine we want our team to follow. But we don’t for 2 reasons: we don’t want to put the work in and we deep down really like using ambiguity to milk employees for as much as we can get.

Here’s the problem. The source of quiet quitting. Where did it all start? Social media. How? Social media has been quickly evolving as a “thank you economy” where the fastest way to build an audience and develop leads was to provide valuable content for free. As a result…experts in all fields were flooding social media with knowledge in their industry. Life hacks. Online courses. Professional development. And…

Insider information on the do’s, don’ts, and dirty secrets of Human Resources.

Human resources experts and employment law attorneys started sharing content about illegal or questionable HR practices and the world heard. They learned that they had footing to fight what has felt patently unfair for years and years. So they planted their foot and pushed back.

What now?

Now is the time for employers to ride the wave. Accept that you are dealing with a workforce that is pushing you to develop as a leader, manager, and administrator. Here are the 5 areas to develop:

1. Recraft your company vision in a collaborative manner and make sure to include purpose and culture.

You can’t reach a new destination with an outdated map. Hold the company meeting. Announce that it is time to brush up the company vision. Make it clear that any vision that each person doesn’t get to contribute to isn’t one you want, because you want them all to have a sense of ownership over it. Tell them that having a positive impact on the world while deriving ridiculous profits is important. Tell them that the experience of what it is like to come to work every day is important to you. Of course, tell them that anything within reason will be considered. Also use it as an opportunity to “reinterview” each one your team members to develop personalized profiles that include what their core individual motivations are. Creating the space for your employees to define their own sense of personal and professional purpose creates significant buy in for the day-to-day work and productivity goals.

2. Realign you management software.

If the daily income-producing activity of your company isn’t visualized on a dashboard that can be customized to each person’s role and responsibilities, then you are dropping the ball. Being able to tell what they have accomplished is the first step in creating a self-managed and self-progressing team. It lays the foundation for the improvement of job descriptions, policies, and performance standards.

3. Redraft your documents.

The way that employment documents have been drafted for so long relied on a population of people driven by different ideals, mindsets, and motivations. They were also designed at a time when the mindsets of employers were different. They are in need of modernization, particularly as to the clarity and specificity with which they are drafted. Job descriptions can be very precise without losing generality. General duties can be paired with specific metrics. Take this mindset to the table and revisit each document used in the recruiting, interviewing, and onboarding process.

Quiet quitting doesn’t have to be a incurable plague. The cure just has to come from the right direction.

Long Lost Legacy

Legacy isn’t a word we use as often in every day speech anymore.

But it is becoming more and more relevant.

In a world where we are marketing to each other through every form of communication and where we are all looking for ways to create the awareness we need to take care of ourselves, the desparate drive for attention drives neurotic behavior.

We want people to know about us and care about what we want, but we don’t have the time to know other people or care about what they want.

It begs the questions, what are we bringing attention to and what happens when it all ends?

A sense of legacy creates purpose.
Purpose modifies mindsets.
Modified mindsets change behavior.
Changed behavior gets better results.

My encouragement to the individuals, the professionals, and the executives of businesses is to give time to consider your legacy, both your personal legacy and your professional legacy.

Ask yourself these questions:

  1. What values do I want people to think of when they think of me, my life, and my work?

  2. What issues or topics to I want myself or my business to be known for positively impacting?

  3. What can I do to ensure that the work I do or my business does extends beyond our existence?

How can I structure my life, my business, and my actions to secure the legacy I want to leave?

I can absolutely assure you from my own experience that these questions will create positive change in your daily experience.

Stay Growthy, my friends.

 


Talking When Talking Is Hard

Buried Thoughts and Feelings

There are so many times in life, whether it is personal relationships or professional relationships, where we have feelings about how things are going but it can be hard to express them. Other times we try to express them and the other person isn’t receptive and it just turns into an argument.

How do you deal with situations like this?

The Art of Crucial Conversation

Crucial conversation is a term for a way to have conversations that matter. Primarily, the art of crucial conversation comes down to understanding how we can develop patterns of reactions based off of context. Think about a relationship you’ve had for a while. If you look back, you can see that conversations started out one way and over time the way you converse changes. Think about a married couple where an argument can start over something as small as a slight expression on the other person’s face. They’ve been together long enough that they are responding not just to actual conversations but a warehouse of information on past experience. The look you make in response to a question may be the same look they’ve experienced during some of the times where things got ugly. They’ve connected a phrase, a look, a question to a pattern of behavior. How do you break out of the cycle caused by patterns of reaction?

The Crucial Steps

  1. Get out of your normal environment - Don’t try to have important conversations in the same place that you have your regular interactions. The environment you are usually in contains triggers for patterns of response. Want a different response? Get in a different environment.

  2. Get someplace public - It’s common sense to say that raised voices and angry non-verbals are minimized when in a more public setting. Use this to your advantage. There are varying degrees of public - a park, a walking trail, a restaurant, a coffee shop.

  3. Consider food and snacks - Food in front of you changes the dynamic. Our brains are not designed to be mad and eat. A conversation over a meal can be good. Also consider appetizers or light bites. Regularly reaching for the next bite breaks up the brain’s attention and patterns of reaction. For a conversation with a lower risk of being volatile, talking over a cup of coffee or tea can work fine too.

  4. Keep it natural - When you make the invite, don’t make it about the conversation. (“I have some things on my mind” or “Can we go somewhere and talk?”) Make it more natural. “Hey let’s go grab a cup of coffee!” or “Want to try that new Italian place for lunch?” The time to open the conversation is when you are already in the different environment.

  5. Open the conversation – Start with casual catching up and light conversation. There will inevitably be a lull in the conversation. That is your time to bring up the topic. “I’ve been thinking about something. Can I ask you a question?” Asking permission to ask a question puts them in position of control and minimizes the feeling of threat from rushing directly into talking about how you are feeling.

  6. Ask about them first – Rather than diving right into how  you feel, consider opening the conversation by learning more about how they feel. “I’ve been wondering lately if you’re upset with me over something I’m not aware of.” Or “How do you feel like things are going between you and I? Are you happy with how we interact?” If you start by giving them the floor, it increases the likelihood that they will feel a sense of obligation to let you talk about how you feel. Feeling heard is the best way to get someone to want to hear you.

  7. Affirm their value – When you start to talk about how you feel, begin with the things you value about them and your relationship with them. “I’m so thankful you’re in my life” or “I really love working with you.” Try to mention the strengths you see in them.

  8. Bring up your concerns – “The reason I asked about how you feel is because lately some things have happened that made me wonder how you felt” Tell them about the things you’ve been noticing. Avoid accusations. Keep it to the facts. And speak from a position of wanting understanding not judgment. “The other day we were talking and you started yelling at me. Is there something about how I talk to you that causes you to get so frustrated?”

  9. Be prepared to change yourself – Nobody is perfect. And that means when you open up the conversation there are going to be areas that you can improve in the relationship too. If you aren’t ready to acknowledge that you recognize those areas and be willing to work on them, how can you expect the other person to do the same? You might have to spend some time caring about what they feel before they are ready to acknowledge how you feel.

Practice the Art

Having crucial conversations doesn’t come naturally. You might completely botch it the first few times. But keep after it. The style of talking and the vulnerability will become more natural the more you do it.

Want help learning how to implement the art of crucial conversations?

Contact Ellison Helmsman anytime for more information.

 

 

Understanding Human Design

Understanding Human Design

Psychology is complex field. But can human behavior be understood from a simple construct that can help us in the pursuit of our own success?

As a personal coach and business consultant, the discussion of human design permeates the work I do. Not only is a core understanding of why people behave the way they do important for knowing what drives our own behavior, but it is central to understanding how to successfully engage with the world of people around us in our personal lives and the businesses we work in, manage, and own.

HOW DO WE LEARN?

To develop the most simple construct for understanding, we have to start with our information intake system. From birth, our 5 senses are the beginning of the massive amount of data we take in and start using to code our behavior program. But as a child, our ability to rationally think about this information, take purposeful action on it, and intentionally communicate about it are limited. Infants experience pain and pleasure and in their limited intellectual capacity their default programming starts to develop. Avoid pain. Seek pleasure. Use non-verbals to show discontent at pain and physically avoid it. Reach out and pull pleasure closer as often as possible.

image.jpg

THIS IS THE FIRST KEY IN OUR DEFAULT PROGRAMMING

Knowing that our default programming began taking shape under these circumstances, we can realize why we see that default programming popping up continuously in our adult lives. Someone does something that you don’t like? Use non-verbals, angry outbursts, and avoidance to deal with it. Love the taste pizza, donuts, and chocolate? Get it as often as you can.

The way our default programming starts forming is the very beginning of a downhill slide that ends up in victim mentality if left unchecked. Why? Because in reality, as children, we were victims. Life was happening TO us and we had such little control over it.

The fundamental changing point in any of our lives is the moment that we realize that life isn’t happening to us anymore, we are now capable of actively shaping our lives and even deciding how we will react to circumstances beyond our control. This is the beginning of active programming.

unsplash-image-h4i9G-de7Po.jpg

LEVERAGING THE KNOWLEDGE

Once you realize that default and active programming exist you can start using that knowledge. You use it in two ways. The first way, is in identifying the programming you are routinely operating on. Are there areas of your life where you are just letting life happen to you? What do you wish was different about your life and what steps are you taking to discover if there are ways you can shape your life the way you want it.

The second application for this knowledge is understanding how to interact with other people. Once you are aware that default programming is in control for most people, you can begin to see how to use that information to get the results you want in your relationship. You either learn to apply the rules of default programming more effectively or you learn how to wake up their active programming process by asking the right questions.

YOUR LIFE OR LIFE’S VERSION OF YOU

Ultimately the most important reason for understanding the difference between default programming and active programming is the choice to be who you want to be. If you stay in default programming, life will shape you in ways that tear apart your happiness and rob your enjoyment of the experience of being alive. If you start coding your active programming, you’ll unlock an enthusiasm and enjoyment of intentionally shaping your life the way you want it to be.

Stay growthy my friends,

Josh